"Nina looked up, into Samantha's eyes. They were wet at the edges."He taught me the difference between destroying something, and dismantling it. And why that difference is important - they both end up the same, but it's the mindset you're operating with that's the difference. You destroy something in anger, but you dismantle something with care, and serenity. You have to, or either it breaks or - in his old line of work - it blows up and kills you."Nina squeezed Samantha. "I understand,. I've also submitted to beltings and whippings.I get excited when it feels like it might get out of hand. After a trulyabusive session, when you'd think I would have felt the worst, I insteadfeel relieved, relaxed and empowered. .In my case the ultimate cause of this masochism was inadequate fathering.My dad was an iron worker and I remember him mostly being too tired to doanything with us boys (except, significantly, the occasional spanking). Somany of the skills I needed to function socially. Things don't always go our way and that doesn't seem to happen as much as we'd like. I just threw a gift in her lap. Everybody there knows Jamie and they all care for her. Finding someone who's willing to give up an hour or so for her will be a piece of cake. Barbara and whoever she gets to take them home are going to win for once, accomplishing what they originally signed up for. It's no big deal but it's amazing how a little thing like that can improve your morale." Well," I said, "I guess. The second heel was now on as I sat back up. His other hand placed his cigarette in the ashtray and he ran his hands all over my chest, stomach, back. I was looking at his face and saw he seemed please with his creation. After a few minutes he said now go over there and look at yourself. I approached the mirror which was on the inside of the closet door. I couldn't believe it, I hardly recognized myself. If I didn't know any better.... I turned and modeled in the mirror. Admiring his work, my.
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